positive

The therapist said i was to begin writing in a more positive frame of mind.
Well i am positively pissed off. Does the world ever stop needing shit from me?
I am tired and stressed from the emotional drain of spilling shit to the therapist.
I am busting my ass at work to make a living, and some days having a hard time of it.
I am running shopping errands for friends who live in the next state.
And mailing their christmas gifts.
My son in law to be asked very sweetly for a loan, which i gave, there goes my x mas gift money from clients.
so no shopping for myself until it is paid back. But if my daughter is any indication i will never see that 140 again.
Then my baby girl calls me and asks me to go house sit at the job she is supposed to be at so that they can supriese HIS MOM
by sowing up tonight instead of tomorrow. I am trying not to be bitter, she just lost her mom. But i am worn out from giving and giving to everyone with nothing in return.
Am i being a petty bitch or is it simply not so much to ask for them to think of me from time to time?
I would never tell them no if it was in my power to help.
But i am drained and stressed and tired and need held dammit.
I am so sure this is not what the therapist had in mind. but if i did not get it out i was going to explode. As it is i think i will just go to bed and have a good cry. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. And then i can find something positive to write.

On a nice note, my husband did stop by work and say Hi. of course that was afer he spent over an hour yacking about guns with his buddy across the street. And to ask me if i had any ideas about dinner? I still had another hour of work to do and a 30 min drive home? What did he really want from me? Lord i am a bitch tonight.

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2 Comments

  1. Kayla Lords said,

    December 21, 2012 at 4:47 am

    I think you have to be able to express both the good and the bad…whatever you’re feeling at the moment…and no you’re not a bitch…it sounds like your giving nature is being taken advantage of left and right…I wonder how the people in your life would react if one day you just look at them and say, “No.”

  2. LadySaige said,

    December 21, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Ugh – I have these days too. A person only has so much to give. And it’s okay to have days like this, I think. It helps us to appreciate the good days all the more. đŸ™‚


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