The move…

I just downsized my business. It was a decision that was not easy to make. I loved my shop. It was big and open and all mine. I could come and go as i pleased. I answered to no one. But i was also the only one to clean and pay the bills. And as much as i loved it i did not love the bills. So i finally decided to refocus. Get remotivated. Now i am in a smaller space and sharing an office with 2 girls who are almost never here. It is taking some time to settle in. But in the end it will allow me the financial freedom i have been longing for. And it will help be reach the FREEDOM i have come to understand i need. Time heals all wounds, and in time i will find my happiness again.

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Master… the follow up to Switch

master feetHe loved his pet. But watching her with others made the pit of his stomach churn. Yes it was sexy as hell. But the fact that he did not give her all she craved made him crazed. He was her Master, he wanted to be all that she needed, all that she wanted.

Yes she had not really broken any rules during her play. But the orgasm she gave herself during the after party was indeed a punishable sin.  And she would be punished. He needed a release for the tension mounting in his body.  And her pretty ass would reap the rewards of his frusteration.

She had been unaware that he was just around the corner. And after her SHOW she had falling into saciated slumber. He had let himself in and stood there watching her sleep. The armoa of sex hung heavy in the air. And her body still glistened from the climax he had witnessed.  He did not gently wake her, but instead grabbed her body and tossed her face down on the sheets. A firm smack to her naked ass bolted her awake. She was afraid for a moment but she knew his touch. And was fully aware that he had come to her. But he had never taken her here. Not in her kingdom.

His hands were rough and so were his words as he came to lay full claim to his prize.

Swat after stinging swat turned her ass crimson. As he told her in no uncertian terms that she belonged to him. His body was bursting from need as he grabbed her hips and pulled her ass to his throbbing cock. One hard deep thrust and he found his purchase. Deep within her tight ass he was home. There was no gentleness to his actions. He was taking what was his. Leaving his mark on her body and soul. She whimpered at his agressiveness but loved how he owned her. This was her Master, and all of the extra play in the world could not fill her like he did. Everything else was entertainment to fill the lonley times. But it was nothing like his touch. The control he had over her was full and total. She never questioned anything he did. He would own her and in moments like these be rough and aggressive but never mean. He always controled her with strong silent power.  And she adored him for it. Never pushing her beyond what she could bear, but always pushing the limits. The freedom he gave her from the rules of society often left her breathless.

Like now he owned her body. She was there to please him, to be a receptacle for his needs. To suffer the punishement of her sin. She knew he was watching, and she knew that to play alone was one thing, but to take herself to climax without his permission was another.  All of her body belonged to him. With each deep and powerful thrust she felt him lay claim to her. And even in the roughness of his love making she felt his love. It was like waves crashing over her. Engulfing her entire being in safety and love.

Cum for me Bitch, he ordered and she began to stroke herself. Building the crest of the wave. But it was not enough for him. So he lay her on her back and rammed into her ass again. From there he was in control of all of her body and began stroking her clit himself. Slapping her wet pussy, her swollen lips sucking at his fingers. Lick he demanded as he shoved his fingers in her mouth. The taste of her wetness on them. She smiled at him and he laughed. You like that dont you he asked. And she blushed. How could he make her blush? His cock ramming her ass, his hand slapping her pussy, and yet he could and did.

She knew the moment was close and begged him to let her cum. He told her that she had lost the right to cum and he was the one who was going to get all he needed. That she was not allowed. That made her need even worse, but she did all she could to not cum. He still pounded her as he dumped his hot load within her.  When he was finally empty he pulled himself from her and asked if she wanted to cum. Yes please, she begged, NO was his answer as his mouth enveloped her wet throbbing clit. She screamed for him to stop but he would not relent. DO NOT CUM, MY PET he ordered as he continued lapping up her tasty wetness. When he had cleaned her he leaned up and kissed her.  Maybe tomorrow he said with a sly grin on his face.

Looking at him with love and pride her only reply was, As you wish my Master and fell asleep in his arms.

The Switch

mask queenLet me begin by saying this is pure fiction and in no way and expression of my personal desires. It is something that has been rambling about in my head and needed to live on paper….

She woke alone, but that happened. Because of work there were times when she was left to her own devices. And today she could feel the familiar fire begin to burn. She loved being HIS. Under his hand she was the perfect pet. Obedient and happy to serve his every need. But she had also learned well. And from time to time the urge to whield the whip became strong.

She slipped from her bed and gatered up the red leather bound book. Taking the key from her jewlery box she unlocked it and began sifting thru the list of those who eagerly awited the queens arival. Men and women who would yeild easily under her hand. It was not long before she found what she craved. The docile couple whos thrill was taking the orders of their Queen, and living out her fantasies. Phone calls were exchanged and arrangements made for the evening.

When the door bell rang it was not to the apartment she shared with her Master. That place was sacred and would never be used for outside entertainment. Yes he knew of her daliances. He had given her this little loft for just such a reason, and had installed cameras in it. She was always under his watchful eye. And yes he to got a thrill from seeing the harder side of His pet. With him she was obedient perfection. But alone she was a force of nature.

The couple arrived, dressed as ordered and did not speak. The only sound was the click of her monumental heels on the tile floors and the soft but controled tone of her voice. She did not need to be rough, she ruled with a gentle hand. Her attire was stunning. Sky high heels on her tiny feet, lace garters and a long red charmuse gown that made her arrousal evident as her nipples stood proud straining against the fabric. And across her face a vibrant feathered mask. No one would ever lay eyes upon her uncovered face, that was HIS alone.

They sat at her feet and each began to massage her with lavender scented oil. They would beg to touch more of her but none were allowed to ever be graced with more that a glimps at her inner most parts. A brushed nipple a waft of her sensuous aroma in the air. But none were granted access. Her pleasure came not from their touch but from the control she could hold over them.

She would soon have the man bound as his wife, a normally docile creature, would be placing clamps on his most tender of parts, eliciting moans of painfull pleasure from him. This tiny creature would be beaming with pride as she made her husband beg her to stop. The Queen would not allow her to give in to his pleading. With this couple it was not a lesson in pain but in power. She loved teaching his wife that she too could be the Queen of her own home.  The play lasted well into the late hours of the night. By the end he had been shown who indeed was Queen as he serviced his wife in the manner in which she demanded. And the Queen smiled in joy as she listened to the screams of pleasure as the wife climaxed again and again. The husband finally lead home with a leash around his hard and unsatisfied cock. His balls begging to be drained. What she chose to do with him once she got him home was up to her. But for now his wife would leave as the princess in training and in control of his cock.

After they had gone she strutted over in front of the mirror, knowing one of his many cameras was there and purred into in. I hope you enjoyed the show. A smile lit her lips as her hips swayed across the room to the bed where she put on another show just for him.

I want………………….

love, lust,desire,passion, need, hunger, longing, soon

beautiful imagesAll she had were her words. The distance between them to far for flesh to touch. And even those would fail her from time to time. Days would go by and she would struggle to say more to him than, I love you. It was not enough. It lacked the power that she felt inside. Finally enough was enough and she knew the only way to show him the depth and power of her love was to do the last thing he expected.
With ticket in hand she boarded the plan. There had been no explination, to story to be told for her sudden departure. She had simply left. Leaving behind her those who had thought she must of lost her mind. But she did not care. She had to see him, to touch him, to Kiss him, to know all of him, And NOW.
She called him from the airport, just as she was about to board the plane. His stunned silence filling her ears. Fear grasp her chest, wondering if she had chosen wrong. But at last a gasp and a laugh filled her head as he told her he would be waiting. Tears rolled down her cheeks as they said there last good by.

the two me’s

today my head is a jumble. All of the moments in my life that brought me to this place.

Probably sparked by the phone call yesterday. My mom, a damaged soul, reaching out after so many years. But nothing in her has changed. She is still the bitter sad woman she has been all of my life. Blaming others for her problems.

It got me thinking. I don’t want to be like her. My faults are my own. Yes they were born from damage, scars left on my young mind by past abuse. But it is how i choose to deal with them that will define who i am.

Which brings me to this…. There are two of me!! There are two or three of most of us. It is the acceptance of this fact that escapes most. We have sides and edges and centers. We are multi deminsional. My two sides are as polar opposite as you can get.

The Dominate Diva, self assured, confidant, and in control. Manipulator of men and women, who uses her sexuality like a fine cutting tool. She is also a master business woman. There is no equal to her. She will take you down without a thought. She is ruthless and devinely sexy.

The other side of me is????

Well she has two sides too. One that is a cowering little girl. Afraid and alone, but obedient and loyal and submissive. But in all the ways that mess with your head. She is a sub out of fear. To many times her head and heart and body were used for the entertainment of those who only ment to damage and use up. They left behind a shattered shell of a girl that used to be.

BUT…

There is the other half of her… Submissive out of want, need, desire, lust, and yes love.

She has given of herself because she wants to. Because it feels right. It is inspired and exciting and easy. Because he has given her a soft, safe place to land. To let herself go with abandon. To not be ashamed of the sensuality or sexuality of her innermost soul.

It is the gift in life that lets you find a way to merge all of the pieces of who you are into one full, whole, functioning human being. I am a work in progress. Each day trying to take all of my parts and make myself, not a fragmented person, but one piece.

I think we often go thru life not grasping many things. But to stop and realize that we are not simply what we appear to be. But that we are multi facted jewels. That is devine.

I like my pieces, my fragemented egdes. The hard pointed pieces. The soft parts with no true form. The damaged and dented parts that need filler and a coat of paint. And one day i will look in the mirror and with pride say, I am whole.

On that day…. look out. I will be a force of nature to be reconed with.

impossible standards

sometimes i wonder if all of the years i have spent married to MR PERFECT has left me with the same level of impossible standards.

I have been having a conversation with my daughter about her boyfriend. He is a good kid. Loves her, and is willing to work at work, mostly. But he will not help her at home and it is wearing on her health. She has a full time job, is raising his son, and giving to him at every turn. I just want so much for her. I never want her to struggle like i have.

It is the hardest job on the planet. Loving your kids and letting them make their own mistakes.

Those #@**# words

Names, words, titles, badges of honor or labels of disgrace?

Bitch, slut, pet,slave,lover, whore!! those and a million others.

Are they ugly? How are they said? What do they mean?

When he calls you those does your skin crawl or do you bristle with pride?

When you call yourself those does he beam or cringe?

Everyone responds to them in different ways.

There were days long ago when i would of been upset even hurt if i had ever been called any of those except lover. But now i find that i like, no love, being called his……..!

Yet i wonder his response. I recently sent him a text calling myself his whore.

And after i wondered at his response. Did it thrill him, make him imagine things. Or did it bother him, make him wonder if i considered myself as LESS. I am not LESS, i am more because of my love for him. Because i have found in him my safe place, my surrender.

But I still wonder, how do you feel about THOSE WORDS.

meet me at the moon

Two soul seperated by space

but not by heart

Kindred and bound by love

There are moments when the distance feels like forever

When the depth of time and space are to much

It is in those moments

That they have this to connect them

To keep their hearts entertwined

One shining orb

Distant in space but binding them both

In the stillness of the night

They stop and look up

At this bright shining moon

And in  that moment they are together

No space so great

no distance to far

For here in this moment

He takes her hand

and dances with her

across the Moon

 

Whiskey Tears

I walked in the door and grabbed the bottle. It had been days since i had answered its call. To many times i had used it to numb the sadness in my soul. But today was different. I wanted to feel the slow burn with each swallow. To feel it’s warmth fill me inside. To slowly sink into the amber bath of oblivion. Not because i was sad at how life had turned out, but simply because i liked how it felt.

Cobbler was in the oven, dinner almost ready to go and the sweet amber had taken hold. Relaxed and easy were the feelings of the moment. With each sip the egde of the day seemed to vanish.

 

Sitting on the couch wrapped in my blanket, glass in hand i melted into the furniture. Feeling his embrace around me. Closing my eyes i could feel his touch, hear his words. He called me beautiful. Had he lost his mind? But with each passing day i wanted to believe him. To see myself through his eyes. Something on the TV made me cry. Silly tears flowing like the amber liquid in my glass. The stream refusing to stop. Flowing from my eyes like a waterfall. Gentle and unceasing like my love for this man. I ached for his touch. I longed to hear his voice. I wanted this day to end. I have needed him to much. And i could bear it no more.

So i finished the liquid in my glass and cried a few more Whiskey tears.

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