Mistresses and Disney Princesses

Mistress…That word holds so many meanings. And I am beginning to think I have been them all.
I was the queen. Leather and lace. That man dared not defy. The giver of pleasure and pain. She who could bring man to their knees and who would happily give up all control to.

But I am not that woman any more. she was a hard woman. There was no love in her. It was a game of control. There was none in her own life so she wielded it like a weapon. It protected her from feeling. From falling in love. From risking her heart.

But somewhere along the way he showed up.He started out playing her game. But she knew it was not him. Everything about this man screamed Master, Keeper, Protector, Lover, Friend.

Now Mistress holds a different meaning. The word stings her ears, burns her heart and kills her soul. She is loved, cherished, adored. But she is also not his only. She knew it from the beginning. There was one before her. One who had long since taken up residence in his life. One who is the mother of his child, the one ensconsed in her ivory tower. She is an unmovable force. She does not love this man as his princess does. She can not see the divine sweetness in him. The sexiness in the control he wields, not just over her but over everyone. How he has gentle control that need not be aggressive. It is simply the nature of who he is. Well with everyone except her. This first, this one.

I sit in sadness because I am finding that battles and wars are two different things. But one can not win a war when the only battle you have won is this. I see him as he was meant to be. Not how she treats him. not how he is with her. I see the dominate loving man inside. The one filled with passion and lust and desire. The one who wants to make the world a better place simply by being the man he truly is. Never settling, always striving for higher greatness.

But she wins every other battle. I know I have his heart. But she has him held captive in that damn tower. And as the days and nights pass my heart wonders even more if he will ever find his way out. I wonder if Walt Disney ever wrote a story of a conquering Princess who scaled castle walls to steal her Prince from an Evil Queen. If happily ever after came in a big red truck instead of in a pumpkin carriage. If fairy tales really do come true, of if we are just fooling ourselves into believing in Magic.

I know I sound defeated. But I am not. I am simply looking at life as it is, instead of thru my rock star shades. And I am trying to remain calm in the face of measurable danger. But once you have taken me from the dark and shown me the moon in all of its glory. When you have kissed the lips of Sleeping Beauty and awoken her from slumber, you have given me this… HOPE.

Today I read something that said life was not easy. Because if it were it would lack adventure. To be honest I would love to let the adventure go for a bit. To live in easy. But I will slay dragons and demons and EVIL QUEENS, if it gets me even one moment closer to him. Because once, he kissed me, and the world stood still.

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2 Comments

  1. June 25, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    She came to him as nothing, perhaps the beginning of a dream he saw her appear before his eyes. One he would come to mark with pain only to discover emotional hurt. It was thought Impossible for others, but not for her. He lifted her from the ashes, wiped off the dirt and he knows now the love she has, He saved her. She is the sweet and he is of the good earth.
    Her love for him is strong and in her remembrance he embedded, his strength. Now she is more than a memory, reborn unto him to love for all eternity.

  2. June 27, 2013 at 1:34 am

    “[…]battles and wars are two different things[…]” so true, to treat them differently too. It’s just the distinction I like, we rarely think of that and tend to use those 2 terms interchangeably. The story is complex, like the Romance of the Rose, medieval in its active metaphorical play. Esoteric in that it could all be one about one person.


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