Reaching In

Butterflyx3's Blog

He has shredded every layer of my skin,
As he slowing imprints, paints, bathes me…
Making me his,
I love him more then words can speak,
More then I dare to admit to myself,
But I fear it so…
I fear the hold he has,
As he possess my whole being,
Wanting to protect his loving
Heart from harm…
Seeing the true man he really is,
It is our trial…
It is our testing…
Of our love…
Passionate words…
Spread underneath
The glowing of the moon…
Setting flame to the stars,
That bend us together…
Even more then before,
As he teaches me
As I teach him…
What it is we are meant to
Teach each other…
To believe in love…
To have faith in someone
With our hearts…
To see that light
Can prevail over darkness…
Love can exists…
In our beating hearts,
That dawn will risedokunma_by_cllozdemir
Beautifully then ever….

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I want

I want to be held, to be touched, to be kissed, to be adored, to be needed, to be cherished, to be loved.

And I want him.

Never before in my life have I felt this way about a man.
Yes I have had lust, and want, and desire, and need.
But this is different, this is love
Deep and true

I want him.

And I want him soon.

wants vs. needs

powerful and true in every word


this is an absolutely AMAZING post about wants vs. needs of a submissive. please read it in it’s entirety. i will be studying this assiduously:

What Do I Need From My Dominant? The Care and Feeding of a submissive


This page was originally started to be a guideline for submissives but in retrospect I think it may better serve the Dominants who may happen to land here. Perhaps it may provide some insight to both sides of the equation.

I Want vs. I Need

We often confuse these two things: I want and I need. Although they may seem to be the same at first glance, there is a huge difference in the two. We want a lot of things in life; money, new cars, a beautiful home, success, and hot fudge sundaes, just to name a few, but how many of them do we really need? Very…

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Held tight





Life has been a whitewater ride of transitions and decisions.

He has been still water

My mind has been a hit and miss

Of order and scattered pieces

He has been a voice of reason

My heart has been a waterfall of strength and fragility

He has held every drop in His hands

My consistency has been exasperatingly….inconsistent

He has been both patient and challenging

My fears have sometimes grabbed me from behind

He reminded me to be unafraid

My tears have fallen at times I did not expect them

He was quiet and present while I cried

My control of the details of my life has not always been in my grasp

He has taken it and crafted calmness from the chaos

Sometimes it has seemed so quiet

His voice excites me

Sometimes there is so much noise….too much noise

His same voice quiets my soul

I am…

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What my submission means…

My master, my truth

Kink, Fetish, and Fantasy Friday!

perfection in every word

Want, Need, and desire

I am having this battle in my head, want, need and desire.

Are they not all connected? Can you not have desire for someone and not need them?

Can you not want someone and not need them?

And what is NEED anyways? 

I am a strong independent woman, I can take care of myself. But yet there is a need in me for physical contact. I want someone in my life to fill that need. But will I die without it, or without them? Is it then a need or simply a want? And what is the damn difference?

Does desire not breed want? And why is wanting someone not enough? Is it emotional vs physical? I keep looking for some logical explanition to something that I think is truly a mental and emotional issue.

We as humans want to be needed. We need to be wanted. So they seem to be interchangeable if not one in the same. We have the need to feel as if someone would be lost without us. It gives  us a since of power and control. It also gives us a since of purpose. That we are an intrugal part of another persons being. That  we are as necessary to them as blood and air.

But there in lies the risk. Can we find in one person all that we need and want?

Does there have to be that connection of the physical, emotional and mental? Or can it be a mix of all of those, or even just one?

My brain keeps thinking that want is a temporary thing. A physical or emotional craving. We see something or someone and we WANT.

Need is mental and emotional. It is a bond, a connection of one soul to another.

That need can build upon the want, the cravings of the flesh. But want can not build Need.

Need is something stronger, more permanent.

Hell now I have even confused myself.

I know that I am filled with desire and want. I have even said to someone that I do not need them. And while I am capable of living my life and taking care of myself in the basic things in life, I do NEED HIM. I need his love and support, I need his guidance and direction. I need the strength and confidence he builds in me. And I need the physical part of our relationship. I crave him, I want him, I desire him. YES I NEED HIM



Life is hard to walk through some times.

That is why we need special shoes.

To make the walk a little brighter


(ok so I kinda stole this one from sex in the city)

But it is the gods honest truth

life, rain, art, and truth


I wake up to a rain cleansed world

new scents fill the air, fresh and vibrant

And I begin to wonder,

how do I get that cleansing deep inside of my wounded heart?

My heart is not in pain

there is simply the emptiness of lost years inside

Sleeping next to a man who never really knew me

one who never actually took the time

I was a water color painting to him

soft muted colors, one running into the next

But in my own head I was Van Gogh or Mary Cassatt

beautiful colors with soft edges

depictions of life and love in all of its beauty

some filled with moments of madness,

some divinely inspired

With my morning coffee in hand I venture out into the dawn

Every sound a reminder of life

its unceasing rhythm

it stops for no one

it only slows

you choose to step up to meet it

or are left behind by it

I want to be wrapped up in it

to feel its embrace

to have it enfold me in its colors and sights and sounds

to taste the day upon my tongue

to know the sting of it upon my flesh

to hear its every beat match that of my own heart

I will not be left behind

and I will never again surrender my soul to a man who does not know

all of my colors




His toy

love and trust

She waited for him in the darkness. He had to work late and she wanted to make his day worth all of the long hours. Some time after midnight she heard the door gently click. He did not want to wake her. But she was not asleep. Lying there in the candle light she greeted him. Her collar and leash in hand. Dressed in only lace panties and high heels, and of course ruby red lipstick. He looked at her, his prized possession, and beamed. He knew that she had been busy all day. Her business kept her hopping. But when she came home, she became his. Every piece of her belonged to him to use as he wished. He called her princess, she called herself his toy, his own personal carnival ride. Just to hear those words from her lips made his body tremble. He loved that woman. Her bold confidence and her rabid sexappeal.

And now as she handed him her collar he was even more taken with her. He knew what it was for her to become this woman. To be the one who built him up. How she bolstered his confidence. She made him every day want to be a better man. And for her he worked hard at it. It was nights like tonight when he received his reward that it was all worth it. When this strong woman became his gentle submissive. When he would mold her, teach her, train her, and make her all he craved. She was already his deepest desire. But when she gave herself to him so freely there was nothing that could compare. The rush she gave him was powerful.

She was his love, his friend, and his toy

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