Fortune favors the BOLD

That statement has been running thru my head like wildfire for a couple of days.

I have never been bold. I have always stepped back and waited for the world to find me. The only time I was ever truly bold was when I was 18 and asked my, now husband, soon to be ex, out on our first date.  I am now certain that if I never had, he and I would never of married. I do not regret it because I have a wonderful daughter. But It mad me begin to think of the moments when boldness entered my life. And what happened next.

No I am not going to share them with you. What I want is for us all to stop and step back. Take a moment and look at our own pasts. Have we been bold and it resulted in something wonderful. Or has boldness led us down primrose paths?  For me it has been a mixed bag.

 

But I have decided one thing for certain. I will be confidant and let others be bold for right now. I will be certain in who I am. And if the world wants to knock on my door then I will answer. But I will not, at least for now, go knocking on doors. If you want me then damn it come get me. If I am the love you seek in your life, then like children in a game, I will not hide, but you must come find.

 

Life has been a learning experience as it should be. And I have learned some lessons.

The one I broke with wild abandon was this. I was bold and went to him. I shut down my business for a week. I  jumped on a plane and put myself in his hands. Full trust. It was not the first time I had been so reckless. But this time I was certain it was for love. The first time it was for attention and sweet revenge. I wonder if I made the right choice. If that moment of boldness was what I should of done.

I have never felt farther away from him. I waited that year. Confident that I was doing the right thing. My confidence is now in question. Was I simply a foolish woman. That which feed his ego. It is true I confessed my love. And I have not lied in that. But I am feeling week and afraid and uncertain of the days to come.

I am no longer Bold.

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. July 11, 2013 at 4:27 pm

    i’ll be bold if you will…
    and i need to be to


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