you gotta love stress

I sit here un able to see. Stressing myself into an optical migraine. Nothing but flashes of light and the desire to throw up.
I hate myself and my life right now.

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7 Comments

  1. obeyme15 said,

    August 22, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    Calm yourself, close your eyes and see the tasks at hand being taken care of. Dwelling will hurt you mm ore. Imagine the good things, you are a awesome woman and there is no reason for any hate of any kind. You must start focusing.

  2. August 23, 2013 at 1:37 am

    I’m really sorry… Try taking a few deep breathes… Eat some chocolate…
    Have a drink?
    Hugs!
    LK ❤🐇

    • loneyheart said,

      August 23, 2013 at 2:01 pm

      Xanax and 11 hours of sleep have made things physically better. Now I just need a labatomy to fix the rest of it.

  3. hispetitelle said,

    August 23, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Honestly, this is all part of the process. Why do we all think we can make sure enormous life changes and not feel the bad even if we are changing for the good? I will tell you this…make yourself feel it ALL…the good, the bad, and the ugly. No one wants to be in pain, but sometimes you have to. It’s purifying by fire and it sucks. If you try not to feel it it will hit you in the face so hard down the road. I know. I did this to myself after my divorce. I thought everything would be OK and got remarried. Everything was good for a time and then it all came upon me like a flood and I became paralyzed…afraid to do anything for fear of failure or rejection and I started shutting down. I’ve talked with so many who have gone through this same thing and everyone will tell you not to stuff the emotions. Throw up if you have to. Go to the top of a secluded hill and scream your brains out if you have to. Sit in a sauna and sweat like mad. Sleep an entire weekend. I know you think you can’t possibly have anymore tears, but then more come and it’s like a river. It’s normal. You will get to a place where you’ve purged and mourned, because that’s exactly what you’re doing…mourning. It really is a death of sorts.

    • loneyheart said,

      August 23, 2013 at 2:06 pm

      I have booked 4 days all to myself at the hot springs next weekend. I am going there to let it all out. To get past my 24th wedding anniversary. To hopefully face a few demons and let them go. To let my head and my heart heal. And to try and find a way to be patient and let life heal itself. To put my wonder woman cloak down for a few days and just be human, weak and frail and damaged. And damn it I hate being WEAK. it pisses me off to be weak.

      • hispetitelle said,

        August 23, 2013 at 8:03 pm

        Good for you. You’re allowed to be weak. You can only be yourself right now and that is a good thing. You said it right..face the demons and let them go. Expose them to the light of day. Sending you thoughts of peace.

  4. gemini said,

    August 23, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    Really good advice from Elle. For the moment just breathe and take one day at a time. Big hugs and warm wishes Xxx


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