Watching Wounds Heal

A week ago I burnt my arm badly on a curling iron. I have daily watched its progression from blistered wound to scab to slowly healing repaired flesh.
It got me to thinking, how much easier it would be if we could see emotional wounds. If we could see the progression of them healing. If we could see if they were getting better, or if they were becoming toxic wounds in need of a lancing.

It is easier to work on something you see. You remember to but salve on it. To protect it. But the mental and emotional wounds we ignore. We let a busy life come first. We do not sooth them, protect them from further damage. Instead we shove them aside and think they will care for themselves. And then one day… BAMMMM. Like a mac truck they hit us and knock us off our feet. The wounds are deeper and more caustic. They have done damage in places we did not expect.
And now we have an even bigger wound. We may have even caused pain in places we never intended. We could of hurt people we loved because we have ignored the flesh eating soul damaging wound.

I have shoved mine for far to long. I am battling them. And yes there are many. They seem to have piled up one upon the other. I try to live in the moment. To be open to the positive. To believe that all things happen for a reason. But the honest painful truth is… We are built by our experiences. Our brains remember shit that we can only see the dark edges of. And it lives in our bodies like a caustic fluid.

I wish that it were an easy thing. That I could lay them out and that those who love me could simply hold my hand and make them all go away. But some battles you can only fight alone. Yes people can be there for support. But in the end it is you against the demons. You against your wounds. I kinda feel like a tiger. I have gone to battle and have currently retreated to my corner to lick my wounds and let them heal before battling my next foe. And yes each one feels like a battle to the death. One of us must go. And damn it I want to live. I want to be happy and healthy. I want to live my life with love and truth and faith and TRUST. That’s a big one for me. At this moment the person I trust the least is myself. I do not trust my own mind, my own heart. But I hope with time….

Advertisements

2 Comments

  1. August 28, 2013 at 12:06 am

    Time heals all wounds, be patient dear child.

  2. August 28, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    I wish we could see our emotional wounds, too. Nice post 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: