Labor Day, and Houses VS Homes

So its labor day and officially my 24th wedding anniversary. And while almost everyone I know is out having fun I am working. I have spent the better part of the day on my knees scrubbing the floors of other peoples disposable income. Cleaning their rental homes. Growing more bitter by the second. These are lovely homes, second and third homes for their owners. And in all of my married years I never lived in a finished home, that we owned. We have owned one, fully paid off, for the last 20 years. But it has no carpet, no flooring, NOTHING FINISHED. Hell I did not even get the joy of picking it out. HIS mother did.

So as I complained to a friend that my current appt. could fit inside the master suite of the house I am cleaning, he reminded me that at least it was mine. That he had a large house that felt like a cage, and it was no HOME.

Is it so wrong for a girl to want a home. That safe place to land at the end of a day. With flower beds and a porch swing, and a loving partner. Someone who will kiss her mud smudged cheek and run his fingers thru her sweat soaked hair after an afternoon weeding? A place that is filled with love instead of just stuff?

One Day, I will have MY HOME.

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5 Comments

  1. September 4, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    You will have all these things. Fully furnished with beautiful flooring and a house made into a home just for you two love birds. I am sure of it. You should start looking for places. So when it comes time, you will know exactly what you want. So many choices to enjoy.

    • loneyheart said,

      September 4, 2013 at 5:43 pm

      for me a home is not the things. But yes I would love to have a finished home so I can have friends and family for dinner. My dream was always to have everyone around a beautiful table for a lovely meal. And I am not so sure that a home need be for two lovebirds. I want to embrace myself before I drag another unknowing person into the mental madness of ME

      • September 5, 2013 at 3:05 pm

        Entertaining family and friends means so much more than just a dinner. It shows your love and respect for them enough to open up and share your life with them. Its a tremendous accomplishment and a lot of work, but an essential part of healthy living to both you and your guest. Some of the simplest things can bring on joy and happiness. Just do what makes you happy.

  2. Kayla Lords said,

    September 5, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    After my divorce, I couldn’t wait to get out of the house I’d shared with my husband – even though he’d moved out already. It was no longer a home. The townhouse I now live in is smaller, not quite as nice, and a rental instead of a house I own, but in two years, I’ve made it my home. And it is my refuge and my home…

    My point is that it will happen…the things you want, the things you need will come in time…

    • loneyheart said,

      September 6, 2013 at 4:53 pm

      thank you. I hate going back to the house we shared. It was never mine, even though I tried. My current apartment just feels like a temporary place. I can not have friends over, there is simply NO ROOM. But in time…


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