Stay, Sugarland

I know that he finally asked for the divorce. And my heart is happy for him. But this song became my every breath last June. We had 4 days, 4 days that screamed this to me with every moment. With every beep of his phone my heart died a little more. I fell asleep next to him with that phone still going off at 1 in the morning. Even our parting was a broken mess because he was on the phone with her. It was then that I knew I has lost. Even if at some point he did leave her, I would always feel like that woman. And no matter what he said, I would not be able to feel different. If he had shown up on my door step with a divorce decree in hand then maybe. But I am not so sure. And now I have grown stronger and so has he. Sadly we did not grow together, but we did grow. And that is what is important.
All of the happiness in the world My Moon.

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3 Comments

  1. October 2, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    I think you’ve made the right decision.

    • loneyheart said,

      October 2, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      it has truly been hard. He and I were a perfect pair. At least in theory. In this cyber world we filled the empty spaces to perfection. He made me fill wanted, desired, needed. And I made him strong in a time when she made him feel week. She tore him down and beat him, and I built him up with every breath. But when the time came and we finally had that moment of reality, well reality is truly a bitch. But life is lessons to be learnt. And I am in a space in my life where I am happy. And I hope he gets there too.

  2. mala said,

    October 5, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    It all sounds so heartbreaking, I am glad you’re in a good space now though šŸ™‚


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