Frusteration and Fear

I am an over achiever in life. And with the holidays here I am in overdrive. He keeps telling me to slow down and I try I really do. But part of it is the fear. This is who I am and when it is meet with appreciation it blossoms. My ex took it for granted, so one day I quit. And he stopped loving me for me. It was all about my doing. Now I am afraid of it happening again.

So today when a friend asked me to dinner and then for a girl spa evening I said yes. Because he said slow down. And what I wanted to do was go home and clean and cook and pack for Christmas. I recolored my hair and it got to dark. even for me. Now he is upset and I am upset and afraid of it all falling apart.

This is what happens when I un lock my heart. Lord I am about to just cry for days and surrender.



  1. December 24, 2013 at 6:31 am

    Oh my, let me see your hair, it can’t be too dark. no such thing dear. it will be alright.

  2. dievca said,

    December 24, 2013 at 10:28 am

    Deep breath. Your hair will be fine, the Holidays will be fine. One bite of the elephant at a time. If you need to cry to release – do it- then move on.

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