With eyes closed…older piece of mine

   Her head hung, eyes closed, tears falling softly as the rain.
Mother nature mirrored her feelings, grey and damp.

What was this life she lived? She wanted more. And yet others thought she lived a charmed life. They did not know her lonleyness. The nights she spent on her own side of the bed. How she longed to be touched and held and cherished.
Everyone one said patience…. wait…. give it time.
But her lonlyness had just grown. The sadness inside her was a river threatning to overflow. It beat at her shores. Relentless it etched away at her rockey edges threatning a cave in.

There had been so many converstaions. So many words spoken. That by now they had all run together. The sound in her head was like a drum beat. It had started out soft and slow. But now it had picked up pace and it rang like the bells of Notradam. It made her ears hurt to hear it. It beat at her heart. The relentless rhythem. Pounding away at her heart and soul.

There was no escape from it. She knew that her life was better than most.
And yet her heart ached. She knew he loved her. He was kind and loving. But the fire of passion had left their lives. And she yearned for it. In fact she felt guilty for wanting more than he was capable of.
But why…. why did she have to put her feelings in a box? Why was it all about him and his needs? Why were his feelings so much more important than hers?

All of this and more ran through her head. But silently she sat like a tree in the woods. Anchored to the ground in which she was planted. Unable to move, Unwilling to be cut down. So with eyes closed she faced the world and let it run her down. Crushing her soul like glass beneeth its heavy feet.

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