Friend, Lover, Mother?

Life is damn near perfect. But I still have these moments that make me wonder. Why does he profess to love me?

We have this amazing connection. We share past history even though we did not really know each other a year ago. Our lives have know the same pain and losses. Some within days of each other. But I am a care taker. I cook and clean and pet and love and cuddle those whom I care for. It is my nature. And recently I discovered just how much I remind the family of he late mom. yes I am older. but in the grand scheme of things, not that much. And it is clear that we share a love of many of the same things. Our daily life is content and filled with moments of divine bliss. But at night when I am trying for the 4th time to wake him from the couch, after I have cleaned the kitchen and made the morning coffee and packed his clothes for tomorrows events and fixed his lunch, and!!!!! I wonder to myself, I am his friend, his lover or a new version of his mother?

Lord help me for acting like a pouting brat. I want a partner in life. And in so many ways he is just that. He always holds my hand when he is near. He never walks away from me. He always calls me terms of endearment. He does not shy away from PDA, no matter who is around. He is often thoughtful. He is constantly saying thank you and reminding me to reply accordingly. He holds me in his arms as if  I were always meant to be there. He never belittles me about my past mistakes. He encourages my future choices. I just guess that today my feelings are hurt. And honestly it was a little thing. But I went to bed mad, I slept like crap, and woke up frusterated. Maybe I am the one who needs a parent to keep my emotions in line???

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2 Comments

  1. dievca said,

    March 3, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    I don’t think you are his Mother with PDA and hand touching. I just think that sometimes we get lazy, distracted or too comfortable~

    • loneyheart said,

      March 4, 2014 at 7:16 pm

      I just get to much inside of my own head some days. I will over anilize a situation and make more of it than there is. He is truly my heart. Such a loving and thoughtful man who seems to understand me in ways others have tried but not completely gotten.


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