just a catch up

life has been full of happiness, craziness, and sheer madness the last few days. Things with my love are wonderful. It feels like we have found our own space in this world. We have our own pace our own grasp on what is Our life, and it works for us.

My baby girl set, then re set her wedding date. So in about 7 weeks the blessed day will be here. I am happy beyond words for her. But it also has cased some of my biggest tears. Mostly because I keep discovering that the man who I once thought hung the moon is a total ass. And I want to kick myself for the waste of so many years, and tears and stress over someone so selfish.

And in the same tear filled moment I realize that life went as it did for a reason. Because I would not of meet and fallen so hard for this soul who makes me see good in the world. The man who offered to take on a second job to help pay for my daughters wedding. The one who without knowing it made me stop and breath and let go of my anger for her poor lonely father.

My mom used to call it righteous indignation. That anger you hold to someone who has caused great pain. I saw that in my loves eyes as I began to crumble under the weight of my ex’s actions. And still he was the man who said, that he had not reason to,but he would respect the ex’s decision to not allow my love to attend our daughters ceremony, ON her Dads front lawn, the yard she grew up in. She is only choosing to marry there so she can wed under the trees her mother planted and loves. (she is my girl)

In the past of would of said that I did not deserve such a man and the deep unending happiness he fills my once shattered heart with.

But because of his love and how he loves my kiddos. I can and will say with raucous  abandon, I do deserve this

this love

this happiness

this passion

this life and all of its joys

and the man who helps me to see my worth

You are my love, my heart, and my future… MY King.

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