Breath, just breath

Sometimes I struggle in life. I swear that the words coming out of my mouth are only meant with the deepest of senceirity and love. But they don’t always come off that way. In a valiant effort to praise my love for the sweetest thing ever I managed to mess it up. I have a soft spot for a man who will sing to me. And mine does. That deep gravely voice, soft and low in my ear, with his arms wrapped around my waist. Just the memory of it makes my heart flutter.  Needless to say we got sideways with each other and I was reminded that there are things I USED to do too. Like take him a cup of coffee to the job site. And go to the gym 5 days a week.  It seems that I tried and failed yet again. But I am not like an old dog. I can relearn old tricks. So today I took him coffee. And as soon as the taxes are done and I see how broke I am I will figure out some way to work the gym back into my schedule.

When we met I was going as a way to escape my ex. The man would not touch me. We slept in the same bed but had no contact at all. And had not for a long time. Sleeping next to him was torture. So I started getting up at 5 am to go to the gym. It was a great way to get some mental and physical relief. But then I met my love and my brain was at peace. And after we decided to shack up, I was content to take care of him every morning. Coffee, lunch, clothes, for his day job and his then night job. So I quit the gym. Now I wonder if I am not attractive to him like I once was. I am no heavier, but I am not as toned.  My deep fear is that he will stop desiring me like my ex did. I am an emotional and mental disaster.

I just need to remember to breath and that the little things count and to get my ass back in shape again.

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4 Comments

  1. dievca said,

    March 19, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    Breathe — but don’t forget to communicate, too.

  2. Sassy Sarah said,

    March 20, 2014 at 7:02 am

    as long as you feel sexy, you will be sexy. You do not need the gym to be sexy. There are lots of other things you can do at home to get more tone. Since we are talking about just breathing , yoga is wonderful for us. It opens up our energy lines, allows are muscles to nourish themselves.

    • loneyheart said,

      March 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm

      I really want to get back to my yoga. And he does make me feel sexy. My ex did a lot of damage in that department. But it is healing one kiss at a time. I have been blessed, if I can just get past my own head

      • Sassy Sarah said,

        March 21, 2014 at 7:42 pm

        I feel you. My ex did a lot of damage to me in almost all departments. I also feel blessed with my man now. He does really well with my goofynesses that come out. Getting passed our own heads is the hardest thing to do. I have been getting a lot better as time goes on. But it is still a struggle. But then life is full of struggles. If not this one a new one will pop up:P


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