Bile

Hate, I fucking hate that man

My mother taught  me never to say that word

And yet as I sit here with tears like acid streaming down my face I feel it my every pore

His senseless selfishness

His cold hearted self importance

How I ever spent years loving him is beyond my grasp.
She is our child. our only child
I have been proud of her beyond words for most of her life
She was stronger than I
and smarter than I
She has loved with wild abandon and lost
And yet she never caved to the pettiness of her father
She stood up to her grandmother when she spewed words of hate
And when that old bitter crones self pity was palpable.
I will always reminder her to have respect for her father
even though he does not deserve it
I will remind her to call her grandmother
even though she is the woman who refused to keep her until she was out of diapers
Her only grand child
Bile and anger and wrath fill my heart
but only for a moment
Because I am reminded that despite their behavior
I raised a wonderful woman
Her heart is pure and true and good
There is no hate her soul
She looks at her father,not with anger but with true pity
for he will die alone and forgotten
surrounded by his things and his money
and in the end instead of using it to make memories with his child while we all still lived
she will use it after his passing to inspire truth and life and love and happiness

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1 Comment

  1. Gwennie said,

    May 6, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    *hugs*


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