polar opposites

When my marriage had died i was still to chicken shit to walk away. But i was not to chicken to cheat. I had an affair, three in fact. I was desperately searching. What i found in the end was that i kept picking people much like my ex husband. And at some point i got strong enough to choose a different life. 

I had known the man who became my King. But had never considered dating him. I was simply not in that frame of mind. In fact i was so done with relationships. I was trying to focus on my own mental health and well being. But he slipped in. He made me laugh at a time in my life when i so desperately needed to. And before i knew it was a goner. 

With all that is going on with my daughters wedding it is becoming clearer and clearer that i got lucky. Those two men could not be more different. One a selfish self centered man who’s only concern is himself and his stuff. The other a man full of heart and generosity. His love for me is so visable. Not just to me but to everyone. He holds my hand and kisses me sweetly in front of everyone including his grandma.  I am not sure why i am so lucky. But i have decided to embrace it with both hands and a full heart. He has melted the frozen corners of my heart into puddles in which my grand children can play. He has used my tears to water a garden now full of flowers. And has shown me what i look like through his eyes instead of my own. And i can finally say that life is truly good. Even after i have bad days. Thank you all for bearing with me in my moments. This is where i let my emotions fly. Where i do not need to censor them for fear of hurting someones feelings. And here in the safety of these pages my life unfolds. I am growing and learning and loving. 



  1. May 8, 2014 at 3:16 am

    there’s hope 🙂

  2. Jackie said,

    May 9, 2014 at 3:53 am

    I’m with you.

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