Off

he misses nothing. Even when i am not sure of anything he sees it. Today i am just off. I am unclear as to why. Maybe the phone call to my mom. The reality of how many years i have missed and that my childhood home is gone. sold off in pieces to people who had no love for what was there. Maybe it is the fact that i am staring down another birthday and this one feels a bit daunting for some reason. Todays aches and pains make me feel OLD.  My emotions as of late have been like a roller coaster. Being able to see my name linked to his in tangible ways has made me feel that attachment even stronger.  The last 3 weeks i wake up every day with a deeper calm and stronger love. This is a feeling that i never knew existed and it nearly brings me to tears of joy. So i am going to just breath through this day. Pray that my aching body and fingers give me a break. And i am going to take joy in the fact that i am loved in ways i did not know existed by a man who calls me His Queen.

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