expression

Every day i learn something. Today has been a good one and its only 9 am.

It started with an article. I am going to post it and then talk about it. So here goes.

How the Emotionally Broken Man loves Differently

Expectations. He wants to be what he imagines men ought to be, but it never works out the way he hopes. Being a man isn’t about being tough, and that’s something he struggles with constantly. If he shows his weaknesses in a relationship, he feels as though it reflects poorly on him as a person.

Weakness. When he feels himself falling apart, his disappointment in himself makes it even worse. Instead of trying to deal with his problems, he battles with them. They eat at him, and he never allows himself to find a remedy. It’s overwhelming, to say the least. He could find solace in the person he loves, but he’s afraid of how they might react. He’s afraid he’ll let them down.

The masculinity factor. He wants people to think highly of him. He wants to be looked up to and feel as though he can manage himself as well as he believes he should. To him, his weaknesses are his emotions — but he’s so wrong. The truth is the contrary. His emotions, if he’d ever just embrace them, are what could make him the man he never believes he could ever be

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The loneliness. Even when he tries to seem as though he’s got himself together, he’s not. He’s alone. He feels as though he’s battling himself constantly. No matter what he does, he can never escape. If he could open up to the person he loves, this fear can be tempered — but he never does.
 He cares, but keeps it to himself. There are so many things he wishes he could say to the person he loves, but he tends to hold them back. Just the thought of embracing his emotional side can make him feel worse about himself. It’s a terrible cycle that is constantly eating away at him
The bitter self-awareness. Everything he does, everything he says, it’s all scripted in a way. He doesn’t want to show a side of him that is too emotional. Just the fact that he has this emotional side bothers him. Sometimes, he’d rather just tear it all up and throw it away. He would if he could.
Afraid. He’s afraid that his significant other doesn’t feel as though he can handle himself in the way that he assumes men ought to. Everyday, he feels like he’s letting himself down. He wants to be tough, he wants to control himself, he wants to feel detached from his feelings — but he’s stuck the way he is. These feelings are perfectly normal, but that isn’t how he feels.
Heart. At his core, he’s got a lot to offer. When he loves someone, he is willing to hold onto their heart and keep it protected. But his own? He keeps it guarded. He keeps it locked away where no one can find it. He’d let it free if he knew that he could control it, but he’s human and therefore he can’t. This is a fact he’s afraid of accepting.
What he deserves. He doesn’t feel as though he deserves the kind of love that partners are willing to offer. He’s given up on himself. There’s still a chance that he get himself back — there always is — but he’s avoiding it for now. It’s all very tiring, but he believes it to be necessary. Passion is for a chosen few, and certainly not for him
The past and the present. He’s been hurt before, he’s been broken — it shows. He tries not to let it show, but it does. As a man, he feels as though he needs to just endure. He’ll be a protector as well as he can try, but he’s never aware of the fact that it’s him who needs protecting.
The mask. He wants to be the kind of guy who has everything together. What he fails to realize is that this person doesn’t exist. No one has everything together, they’re just good at hiding it. He will give everything he can, but never to himself. If he’s not careful, it can eventually drown him.
Good enough. He hardly ever believes he’ll be good enough. Whether that’s referring to love or friendship or his career, he’ll always come second to the guy in front of him. That’s just how he sees the world. He defeats himself before ever giving himself a chance.
Cold souls. Despite his cold soul, there’s warmth to him. When you know despair, you understand the importance of softening it. He may never attempt to help himself, but he will always be a shoulder to lean or cry on and always someone who will be emotionally available.

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The core. At his core, there is genuine love. Genuine passion. Genuine spirit. The world may have been cruel to him, but he won’t cruel back to the world. He’s better than that. And when he’s in love, he portrays that part of himself threefold

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Fixable. When it comes to a man who’s been emotionally broken, he’s not too far gone. He’s not past fixing. He’s human, and therefore, even at his worst, his best has potential. He can get through whatever he needs to get through, and sometimes it’s the person he loves that stands the best chance at helping him get there
I read this and it made my heart ache. I know this man. I married this man. It is his broken wonderful self that drew me to him. This man who gives of himself without thought. He brings smiles to everyone and can not see how that makes him wonderful. He draws out the good in others and yet can not see the good in himself. He took my heart that was not functioning at all and brought it back to life. I have told him from the beginning that i could see into the very depths of him and knew he was filled with wonderfulness. All of his “weakness or Venerability” to me is the sexiest thing on this earth. He is not cold and shut off from his heart. He is a walking example of what a real man should be. I am grateful that he is my King and I his Queen.
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