The wonderful world of Menopause

Ugh… sometimes that is all i can say. I have days where life runs like normal and then there are the days where i am sure my body is an alien life form and my tears will never stop. Days i love everyone and the days when i want to snap the neck of the next person i see. You really do think you are losing your mind. I can’t remember shit. And while my brain has always functioned a bit OFF these days it is so much worse. Notes are my best friend.

My best girl friend loaned me a book that has some great info in it. And i am trying to embrace my Crone years. Terribly melodramatic i know. But it is a bit of the honest reality. I forgot that growing new hormones is about the same and Losing old hormones. It all makes you a bit nuts. Your skin changes and i am not sure who’s face is in the mirror.

The hot flashes are annoying but the least of my issues. It is the emotional ups and hard downward crashes. It is the change in my sleep patterns. It is the wild swings between, Fuck me now and Please don’t touch. The ” i can conquer  the world, and where is my hiding cave”.  The ” i love people and just wanting everyone to go away let me be and die quietly” there feels like there is not a single bit of even ground to stand on and just inhale.

If it were not for the loving tenderness of my King i would lose my shit daily and not in a way that would be acceptable in public.

I had some delusion that at this point in my life things would feel a bit more balanced. I like structure. I need structure. It helps keep me balanced. But at the same time i need challenge to keep me from utter boredom. It is why i am struggling with my work at the moment. I realized that for years it was about the creativity. I loved it. Now the world is different and if a person in their teens or 20’s wants to try the latest trend they just watch youtube and try it at home. So my clients have migrated to women in their 50 plus years who are battling age and are the queens of vanity. Odd that i am in the beauty business and HATE VANITY.

This too shall pass. Probably like a kidney stone. It will hurt like hell but when it is done i will breath a sigh of relief and life will go on. I just hope that i  keep my ducks in a row until then. I do not have the desire to wrangle the little buggers when they go wildly astray. CronesWisdom

 

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1 Comment

  1. smitten said,

    May 20, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    I hate it, too!! Mostly the emotional upheaval and night sweats… ❤
    Huggs!!


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