It’s a weird day to say the least. AT 5 am my mother messaged me to says my grandmother had passed. She was 93 and was frail beyond words after an unattended fall. While i have  a few fond memories of my grandmother i have more that i care not to share. She was a hard woman. Vain beyond words and fervent in her religious beliefs. I was her first born grandchild but by far not her favorite. Had i been born to one of her other children things would have been different. But grandmother and my mother had a difficult relationship. And i think it is part of the reason my Mother and i have the same relationship.

I know the family will be mad when i do not show for her services. But they can not ever get together without a world war happening. And i do not have space for that in my life anymore. My loving King has helped me find peace with the past and to understand that you have to accept people as they are. My Aunts and Uncles are in they 60’s and 70’s. Their attitudes and opinions are set in stone. I walk my own road and it is not necessarly a path they would travel. So i am going to remember the good moments, Let go of the hurtful ones and keep trying to find a managable peace with my mother.

And every time i wear a dress with no slip and no hose i will laugh and remember my Grandmother. She is after all the woman who taught me all of my LADYLIKE qualities. And the reason i break them at every turn. She is also the reason i will color my hair until the last breath has left my soul. I refuse to go grey. She was for as long as i can remember. good by you stubborn woman. I will always love New Years thanks to you and to the man who loves me.


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