Getting it

The only constant is change. So i am understanding that i am constantly learning. Concepts that have always been so clear to me are slowly taking on new colors. I have always been a black and white girl. So when i said something to you that is exactly what i meant. Now i am learning that life is not that simple. there are shades of grey, funny nuances to everything we say.  If i tell you i am going to do something, unless i am dead or in the hospital i am going to do what i said. when others don’t it makes me crazy. But this weekend i heard my husband use a term that made some things make sense. He called us BURSTY. I think he is more that way and i have joined him to some degree.

He will attack something with wild fervor. Then stop. I tend to be the more slow and steady type. So together we have this Tortise and the Hare balance to our life. He gets me going when i don’t want to even start something. I Keep him going when he wants to stop.

We will copulate like wild bunnies for a few days and then have the Sahara desert of breaks. That usually causes me anxiety but i am beginning to understand and find better calm during the droughts. We will work on house projects until we fall over from exhaustion. And he will still say that he is going to get “…..” done next. What happens is the gathering of material and then nada. And where that used to drive me mad i am beginning to get that it is not him NOT keeping his word, But him over promising. He really intends to do those things, but there is a time and physical ability issue. And i do not help when i declare that one deserves a day of rest. Even the good lord took a day off.

I love this life. Yes i still have anxiety moments but they are getting fewer and farther between. The good things are becoming more abundant. We are really understanding the other and talking through the unsure moments. We had so much baggage when we came into this relationship and together we are learning to let go of the things that do not make us stronger. I am a happier woman because i know i am loved. And that is the greatest feeling of all.

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