celebrations

It was that holiday. The one where the candy company tells you to love someone with gifts. Personally my least favorite of the year. I hate the idea of a mandated day of love when it clearly should be everyday. But who am i to argue with Hallmark and Hershey.

So i caved and put a card and candy bar in my kings lunch box. to be honest i love cards. Pretty little notes that are unexpected. Words of love given to stir the heart and soul of your lover in the middle of a mundane work week.

I was shocked to see my king burst through the front door at work carrying a card and candy and teddy bear with a big heart balloon attached. He always surprises me. The gifts were sweet, but it was more the fact that he stopped in the middle of his day to see me. That made the day worth it all.

Evening was another gift all in itself. I planned a surf and turf country style. Elk steak, shrimp, baked potato, salad and fresh fruit. Followed by a home made chocolate cherry pie. But no holiday of love would have been complete without the right outfit. So i made sure this one was spot on perfect for his style.

Pink lace  panties, thigh high stockings with heels of course. a very mini denim mini skirt and a white wife beater with a pink lace bra underneath. The effect was clearly evident. It was all either one of us could do to not just stop dinner and have human desert first.

I love the tease. It is like the abundance of naughty suggestive texts during the day. It builds hunger. Patience while wearing that kind of outfit is a challenge but by the time you cave to the carnal lust it is so worth the wait.

Life gave me the best V day ever. I finally don’t hate that holiday. My king made me feel special. Made me the center of his universe in a big way that day. I had no room to doubt his want or desire of me. There was no porn or naughty conversations about other people in our play. It was just us two and sometimes that is the best of all. Knowing that I was the one who made him hungry and i alone was all he needed to fill that hunger.

I know, I love the porn and the dirty idea of adding a third, but as a girl you need to know from time to time that you are all he needs. Life is so good.

 

 

 

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sexual fantasies

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself where yours came from? What makes some things trip your trigger and some turn you off fast? It is something i have thought of but not with the clarity i have today.

I have baby girl fantasies. Now, with my history of childhood sexual assault, many would thing it strange. But today i understood it better than ever. My step dad was all about innocence and purity.  I was a good girl. Given white and pastel colors to wear. It was never about me touching him. Only him touching me. He loved to shock me but exposing himself. He thrived off of the idea of purity.

As an adult during my first marriage there was NO  fantasy play. Now that i am in a healthy loving relationship the play is abundant. And i have explored age play. Now I get that it has nothing to do with the abuse.  For me being a baby girl is about 2 things, the safety and love and feeling very special. The other is about being   a BAD GIRL.  This baby girl is naughty and dirty and loves it. There is no innocence to it. And i love that. I thrive off of the balance of loving safety and the complete ownership that my king has over me as his baby girl. How i can make daddy feel good and be a sexual creature without stupid rules of proper behavior.

To be fair we also have Mommy play.  I had some hickups with it in the beginning. But began to understand that it is about 2 things as well. The loving protectiveness of a mommy as well as the dominate control of TEACHING your cub how to give you great sex. It is a lot to grasp sometimes but great communication leads to amazing sex. Loving this life and all it has given me.

 

Untouchable?

You’re not supposed to go there. There are some things that you just know are wrong, but you go there anyways. You want what  lies ahead.

That girl is just everything you want and know you should not have. She is dark and brooding and slightly mysterious. Not really a mystery but one of those slightly off center girls. You know the kind,they put out that bad girl vibe with the promise of dirty sex but under the surface are the kind of girl you could just touch and kiss and make cum for hours. The problem is that she is way to young. Well over the legal age but when you are 40 plus anything under 30 is practily an infant. Of course that does not even come close to the issue of her being your friends daughter. Still when you are sitting there face to face talking to her you get lost. Lost in her soft dark eyes and in her cleavage. She is the perfect level of thick. Boobs like to fully ripe cantalope inside of her scoop neck top. The one that hugs them all the way around and then skims over her stomach and hips. The hips that currently are covered in dark purple velvet track pants with bell bottoms. The ones you know do not have a single piece of fabric under them. Pantie lines do not exist. Of course she is her mothers child so there would never be panties. Damn it, now your head just went there. Her ginger haired mom who does not even own a bra. Who’s nipples are always in your face, making you bite your lower lip.

Think about something else…. Ok there is always Pam. You know that she is a bitch. Most of the time she comes off as quiet an slightly insecure. But a girl knows, and that one needs a huge cock in her ass. She needs her hair pulled and to be force feed a thick meaty cock. And after you kiss the tears from her face she needs shoved face first into a wet pussy and made to eat it until it cums and is then spotlessly clean. She is the one you want to watch your King fuck. Partly because you know he secretly lusted after her and partly because you know she needs it, and would beg for more after you finished with her. Inside of that woman is a wanton harlot who likes it rough. Shit…Try again

There was the bartender chick. You want to keep her for yourself. She needs dressed in cute outfits and then paraded around a crowd of lusty people. Preferably on a shiny leash. The slut with the vibrating panties. take her to the edge and then deny her any release. Have her so hot and wanton that she begs. Kiss her, touch her and tell her no. Put her on her knees and make her eat your pussy in front of everyone. And when you have had your fill, make her cum hard while your king shoots cum all over her hair and pulls on her studded nipples. Fuck…

You wonder if you have ever told him about the red haired client that you know is one dirty girl? Her sex drive matches your own, or may even surpass it. She comes off as a tomboy. Sexy as hell. Still you know that she would be the one for a slow afternoon romp. That woman you would slowly undress, take her hair down and watch it brush the top of her hips. The one you would lay back and admire. Who’s body you would happily make rise and fall and crash into blissful orgasm over and over again and not be pissed off if you never came. Ok, well that is not fully true. You need that orgasm. Still she is…… Oh my

And there will always be Steph. Kissing her was so good. Great rack, wicked curves. A thicker girl than you but great proportions. She would be the one you and your king could share. Not rough, but slow and hot and hungry. The girl who’s sex life has been all work and little fun. It pisses you off that things did not work out. You were so close to having all that you desired. And you know that she was there too. But she found another playmate. Darn the luck…

This is the land of the untouchables. You have surfed the net, look for and found it wanting. You are hungry for the carnal and the sharing. There has yet to be the final play. One day all that you desire will happen.

Patti…. That one need duct tape and a good ass whipping. But how hot she would look mounted on your Kings pole. She would so like it… Like i said, a girl always knows.

The mental fantasy play

He loves that i am bi sexual. I have not had any female lovers since we became a couple but he it a typical male and loves the idea of it at least. Because of that we do share a very healthy fantasy life. Last night it went something like this…

Finally home and in bed. What felt like the worlds longest day was over. But i am looking at his perfect naked body laying on the bed and i can tell he has read my latest fantasy piece. With hunger i take him in my mouth and relish the sounds coming from him. Lord how i love oral sex with him. Nothing makes me hotter and more ready than a mouth full of my kings ample cock. That was until…. ” I am going to take my cock out of your pretty mouth in a minute and bury it deep in your naughty perfect pussy. I am going to make you cum, but when you do i want you to yell the name of the woman you want. Are we clear?” We were very clear.

And here is where my over processing brain went.

“Oh my god i love him, he is perfect, Fuck that feels great, So deep, so hard, so… oh shit i am going to  cum… Oh Daddy, i am going to…..NO NO NO, i don’t have a name OH hell Mary……”

His intent was to try and help me let go. To just be in the moment. I have a hard time with this. I have some bad control issues and i am learning. Thank goodness he is a patient man.But somewhere in all of that my brain had a marathon run of all of the women i know and my personal physical responses to them. UGH what a cluster fuck that was.

I find lots of different women sexy. I like curvy  brunette women. But i have been with all types, thin, curvy, tall, short. So somewhere in all of that i was trying to figure out which woman would not only i enjoy but would turn him on as well. See i am a challenge. I do not know how to be self centered even when asked to be.

What i get this morning is that my brain is wired very different when i am in the moment with him and when i am the me mind set of being with a woman. Some women i want to dominate in the worst way. Some i want to explore for hours and have multiple mutual orgasms with. And some i want to deliver to his feet and watch them cry as he trys to make them take all of his rock hard cock either in the mouth or in the ass. “trust me neither is easy”

So that is why i had a mind melt when he asked. The idea turned me on. But i could not find the emotional place i needed to be to decide which woman it would be. In that moment there was no other woman, it was simply my King and myself and that was all i needed.

One day there will be a third in this relationship. I know that. And i ma good with that. I want the ability to have a female playmate, and to share her with him and him with her. Until then we will live in this fantasy and i will keep going through the list in my head.

And honest is honest, i am more inclined at this time to find the one to deliver to his feet. As long as he lets me play with her while he is in recovery mode. I so want him after he has made another woman a quivering puddle on the floor.

Memories and Fantasies

You never know what will inspire you. Today it was a blouse that brought back some memories. Our first trip to the strip club, stripper glitter and what if’s. What follows is a fantasy of that trip and the what if’s of a visit to the back room that did not happen.

 

Sitting there with her in my lap, watching him grin like a cheshire cat, had my heart racing. She had mentioned the back room but i was to chicken. About then was the moment she spun around in my lap and put her hand in my bra. She explored and found my very hard nipple. The firm pinch that followed was all the inspiration i needed. With one swift movement i grabbed her hair and found her lips with mine. “Back room, NOW” i growled. I heard her catch her breath and look at me with surprise and hunger. Looking at him all i could say was ” You coming?” Huge eyes looked up at me with a wicked smile as his hard cock pointed the way.

I surveyed the landscape until i found what i wanted, 3 plush chairs in a back corner. I pointed to the corner chair and without a word he sat there. I wanted him to be trapped in that corner. He needed to see all that was about to happen. Standing next to her i took her hand and asked the rules. I wanted to be clear on what could and could not happen. When she had finished the list i nodded and stepped closer. ” Be a good girl now, I am going to kiss you” She was by no means out of her element but seemed to understand that i was in charge of what would happen. He was going to get the show of his life and i was going to enjoy every inch of her i could.

I let her know that i would not do any thing without telling her first. She had the right to decline any action. But i needed to release her firm tits from her bra. My lips found her nipple as her bra landed in his lap. She was sitting straddling my lap, the perfect angle to kiss her and lick her breasts. I so love boobs and hers were lovely. I knew he was eyeing her ass in those cheeky panties. How could you blame him for looking. It was one sweet round ass for sure. Hands and lips roamed free. Her wetness dripping on my thigh. Once again i purred in her ear and told her what i wanted next.

Standing up she slipped from her wet lace panties and placed them over his face. He inhaled deeply and smiled.Slipping into her chair facing him she swung her leg over the arm of the chair and began fingering her wet naked slit. His cock jumped in his pants. I kissed and touched her as she continued the show. I encouraged her to enjoy herself. We were going to watch and enjoy her perfection. Soon the moans of hunger slipped from her lips and i knew it was time. One my knees i slipped between his legs and released the anaconda from his strained slacks. With one lick he groaned with desire. Her eyes popped open from the sound and she let out a glorious moan. I looked back at her and smiled. “Nice isn’t it? Dear God was all she could say.

Lifting my skirt i turned around to face her and sat on his lap. His cock had no problem finding my very wet and swollen pussy. It throbbed from hunger as it swallowed his entire cock. Rolling my hips, i watched her fingers vanish inside of her glistening pussy. From behind me i heard him whisper” She is hot isn’t she my queen? Please make us all come”

Squeezing his cock tight i told him that he should tell her like he does me. Let’s see if she can come on command. My fingers found my clit and i began rocking on his cock. His hands found my ass and encouraged the rhythm. She matched our intensity and soon everyone was on the edge.  His eyes met hers and he growled “cum, you better cum NOW”

And she did. In fact we all did. I watched her gush all over her fingers. Her eyes rolled and her breast bounced as her body convulsed from the intensity of her orgasm. The sight of her caused me to then explode all over his pulsating cock and i pushed him even deeper into my throbbing pussy. I could feel him burst inside of me as he reached maximum depth.

The three of us sat there trying to catch our breath. I stood up slowly and pulled her to her feet and kissed her with the softness of a satisfied woman. Stroking her still firm nipple i Thanked her for the fun and asked it i could stroke her wet pussy. She smiled and granted me access. As my fingers found their way to her naked mound she shivered and pulled me closer. I loved the feel of her wetness and the response of her body. I was about to stop when she grabbed my hand and begged me for one more. I could only say yes. Soon we were in a heap at this feet on the floor. Our bodies taking over. There was only wanton desire and the need for more. Each of us fingers deep in the others pussy. Soon i had her sitting up and backed against the chair between his legs. His cock throbbing next to her cheek. I had burried my face in her wet pussy with three fingers deep inside. Finding just the right spot she came hard all over my mouth. His hands had found their way to her breasts and kept tweeking her nipples to encourage more intensity from her orgasm.

She curled up at his feet like as satisfied kitten. But i was still pulsing and he was still hard. So I crawled up in his lap and looked him in the eye “daddy, have i been a good girl?” He smiled and said “yes my baby girl” “Please make me cum again” i begged. With that he was deep inside of me and thrusting hard. His mouth biting at my nipples i screamed and came harder than ever as he errupted once again as deep as he could inside of my wanton cunt. I collapsed on his chest as he stroked my hair. His cock still inside of me.

From somewhere behind us we heard cheers and clapping. It seems our earlier encounter had been loud enough that we had drawn a crowd. I am sure that daddy knew all along. And that made it all even better.

:

He knows me all to well

In men i have no type. I have been attracted to thin and thick, short and tall. For me it is more about a mental connection than a physical one. BUT… when it comes to women i have a type.

Dark hair, dark eyes, great boobs, no they don’t have to be large just perky and with responsive nipples, and hips with that curve you just want to grab ahold of.

I say this because we have a bar tender that causes me a level of frusteration i do not want to admit. She is Nice to look at but with random attitude that makes me say, NO. But.. I know there is always a But.

Different people bring out different sides of my sexual personality. With my King i tend to be more submissive and playful. I crave him so i will do damn near anything he desires to get my hands and mouth on his cock. He can have me on my knees and dripping wet with ease. Others have brought out my dominate side. The one where  you just want to put them up against the wall and stare them down until they say ” Mistress how may i please you”. That is this girl.

I see her and know that she thinks she is the shit. She carries herself sometimes with a swagger that dares you to look at her with hunger in your eyes. She knows how to dress her assets. The best is knee boots with printed leggings, no panties, and a thin t shirt with no bra. And yes it looks like a new nipple piercing. Her ass and hips  have great jiggle. And those small but pert nipples beg to be put in a clamp until she begs to be released. Doing so would require immediate oral attention to them because they would need soothing.

I am still finding my comfort level when it comes to that aggressive dominate side of me. I wonder just what my love will think if he ever saw me unleash the Queen. The things i would do to that girl might make him cum without contact or make him cut me loose and never want to be with me again. Gratefully not every woman brings out the Diva bitch. Some make me just want to kiss and touch them for hours keeping them on the edge of an orgasm until they are begging me for release.

One day we will find out. One day we will find that third and enjoy what ever ride it takes us on.But for now i am loving the fact that he can see my desire even when i try to hide it. I love how he knows me almost better than i know myself.

 

erotica, pornography,nude, naked?

When my daughter was quite young she determined there was  difference between Nude and Naked. In her little head nude was just you with no clothes and was not at all shocking. Naked on the other hand was shocking and was to be avoided. Funny how little brains work.

Now as an adult there are the same conversations around erotica and porn. Erotica is the admiration of the unclothed human form. Porn is just dirty sex. Trust me i like both. I participate in both. And one does not always lead to the other. But i wonder if everyone can make the differentation or if they are so uptight that nude and naked are the same.

Personally i find no shock in either one. Human sexuality should be embraced and not repressed. Sex sells but there is a difference for me between romantic intimacy with my partner and naughty sex just for the fun of it. In making love to my mate and in sex on cam to build the desire level or to make bank.

Life is built on the rules we are given in our youth. It is up to us as adults to determine if those rules fit the life we want to have. Do those rules make us better people or do they stifle the raw humanity within each of us.

I for one think rules should be broken and that Nude and Naked should be as much fun as erotica and porn.

Finding my Frequal

Yes Frequal , my Freak equal….

You grow up in a religious zealot family with closet sexual issues and your view of everything is slightly off. You grow up and marry mr. straightlaced and you feel awful when taboo things give you a pantie rush. And then one day the world changes and you find yourself with someone who gives you a safe judgement free space to express your naughty side. Then everything gets FUN. You explore together. You talk. Yes Talk…

I can not begin to express the joy that i now find in life. Every aspect of my world is better because i have an equally Freeky and honest partner. I have explored many Taboo things. And while there are some that are beyond even my Freak level i have always been a curious bugger. I have read many articles and watched many documentaries and on line videos of all kinds of sexual things. I find every day that we as humans express love and desire in an abundance of ways. And i am cool with most of them. I will never grasp sex with animals, but that is just me. And anyone who touches a child should suffer a painful and slow death. Rape is a cowards action. But past those hard boundaries in my life i refuse to pass judgement on how you express your love or your physical needs.

This world is a messed up place. It would all be so much better if we could all get past our views on what if PROPER AND ACCEPTABLE and just embrace our inner Freaky selves. So my hope for everyone today is that you find our Frequal and go be naughty and do so guilt free and happy.

When the lights come on

It is amazing to me how much you don’t know but think you do. How we process emotions and desires and life and loss. Every day i learn more about myself and accept things. I am reaching a place of acceptance over parts of my past. Understanding the WHY of life.

This may be a long one so hold on…

First… I am in this strange mental place about my first marriage. You know when things are done, over, finished. But there is a constant nagging conversation in your head about what YOU did WRONG. Could you have fixed it? Will you make the same mistakes again? The fear of ruining future relationships because you did not learn some lesson is almost terrifying. The last couple of weeks have brought me great peace and the ability to understand that i was not a perfect wife but i was fighting a losing battle. I was married to a man who never really loved ME. And while it is hard to think I spent years in that marriage oblivious to that fact it has helped me find some new peace. I am in a different place. I am LOVED now by a wonderful man. He accepts all of my flaws and i do not feel the need to be something i am not. I can not repeat past mistakes because this life is NOT  that life. I simply must take each day as its own and live as my true self. My ex is in a good place and that makes me happy. To know that he can finally feel the depth of joy that love can bring. Life is finally as it should be for all of us.

Second… Sex and intimacy…I am about to be 46 and  i finally get it. They are not the same damn thing. But sex can be even better with great intimacy. Intimacy is being able to have those honest conversations about wants and desires without fear. It is having someone in your life who understands your freak flag and will help you wave it without judgement. It is as simple as a kiss every morning. Someone who never misses an opportunity to hold your hand. It is someone who helps you figure out your own sexuality issues and wants to play in your playground.  I have always been bi. But for me it was never an option. Now it is and i have been a little wary. It is not easy to admit all of your desires but my King puts me in a safe place to do so. Sharing that with him has brought us closer. Now if i can only get to a comfortable place during sex where i can say all of the dirty things in my head without being afraid he is going to stop and look at me like i have lost my mind. But life is one step at a time.

I finally understand why i want to share my husband with another woman. I am grasping my very opposite sides of Submissive and Dominate. I hope to become comfortable with all of the FUN that life has to offer and know that in the end my King loves me and that we will be strong together for years to come as long as we can stay open and honest with each other.  Life is truly good and i can see so much clearer these days.

Stripper glitter

Life is a funny thing. You have ideas in your head about something and then it happens….

We took our first trip out to a dance club with some friends. Both of us were nervous. The idea of something and the reality can often not match. And trust me it didn’t. I laugh because it was better than i had hoped. Not only was it a blast to watch my husband shock the sweet young lady who’s ass was all in his lap but it was even better when she eagerly accepted round two and fully enjoyed the treasures found in his slacks.

Just as much fun was had in watching my husband try and maintain when my lap was full of cute. My first dance was filled with giggles and the awareness that i had the biggest boobs in the building. A fact that was commented on often during the night. As i had never been in a strip club before i was trying my best to keep my hands to myself. A point that tickled the dancer in my lap. All in all she was a fun way to break the ice.

As the evening went on it was clear most of the young women were cute but so not my flavor. Until one… My king gave her a few dollars on stage as i enjoyed watching. She was indeed a tasty dish. I had every intention of putting her in his lap but when the time finally arrived i kept the prize for myself. And what a prize she was. Had we not been with friends i may have parted with the extra money for a back room visit. Her attire and attitude were perfection. She was not only a talented dancer but was quite skilled in the fine art  of seduction. The zipper on my top lost it’s battle and gave way to full exposure of my chest. Her hand explored and found its way into my bra and she smiled when she pinched my nipple and felt it’s instant response. Needless to say i learned what you can touch and i did. She smelled great and tasted lovely. By the time the song was over the cab ride was not far behind.

My King and I are enjoying the benefits of that adventure. Sex has been extra spicy and the conversations have been educational. We are talking more about exploring and sharing. I know that in time we will find a third and go on yet another adventure. The comfort of being able to talk honestly about our desires is amazing fuel for our sexuality. I feel deeply blessed to have this man in my life at this moment and am eager to explore the rest of our hungers with each other.

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